Shortening The Distance Between Ourselves With Our Stories

We’re moving into fall, my favorite season of the year, that time where we get to slow down and reflect a bit more, perhaps. I invite you to consider two pieces of wisdom I’ve come across lately that I feel are mysteriously related and see where that reflection takes you.

First, from a fellow writer who was preparing a proposal to teach an academic course: “We shorten the distance between ourselves with our stories.”

Next, from my recent meditation retreat, this quote during a dharma talk: “I don’t know the word for it, that space between seconds, but I’ve come to understand for myself that it’s the punctuation of my life. Between each word, each thought, each moment, is where the truth of things lies …” (from a Native American elder).

One of our most deeply ingrained urges is to bring together our minds and hearts—to bridge the gap, in a way…. and yet it appears we humans seem to be handicapped by dualistic thinking and attachment to identities of all kinds: cultural, racial, or spiritual. Without realizing it, we categorize and judge others (duality) on an almost daily basis and without a great deal of conscious awareness - and then we hunker down in our respective identities, gathering with other of own race, preferences, or religion, separating ourselves from those who don’t belong to our clan.

Though we humans belong to the enormous tribe of humankind, depending on one another for sustenance and information and support, we often don’t know how to operate in our own best interests.

Telling stories, whether we speak them aloud, sing our songs, or write them down, helps us to get closer to our fellow beings, revealing the workings of our minds and hearts. Just look at people in cafes or airports or standing in line for a flu shot or a coffee – people are inclined to chat, to visit, often sharing something specific about their own lives, weaving tiny threads of connection. There is comfort in this. Connection. Young, old, middle-aged, male, female, black, brown, and white – we want to be reminded that we exist in communion with others.

And while all this incidental chatting is going on, people are killing each other by the thousands in far flung parts of the world like Israel, Ukraine, parts of Africa, Burma, and the list goes on. To fully absorb the enormity of these atrocities is impossible, the grief in the massive cruelty and loss of life is too epic, but time and time again our conscience forces us to witness the tragic loss of life and say to ourselves: why? 

Precisely – why?

I’m not well versed enough in the provenance of these diverse conflicts to articulate any coherent logic, and sometimes I want to hang my head and weep for all the losses, and I keep coming back to the thought that: hey, we’re all human, tribal creatures, and people in tribes need one another to survive, so why can’t we embrace our commonality, our shared aspirations and visions -- peace and love, fostering the family and community? There’s a security in building community, isn’t there? Human beings need safety, as do all our counterparts in the wild. And yet, and yet … Too much ancient hatred, judgment, and entitlement prevail.

That “space between the words” that the Native American elder referred to strikes me as a fresh new way to look at the tangled and hate-filled landscape we see too much of now.… What if in that “mysterious and silent space” lies the deeply felt human inclination to unify with our fellow beings, to find a way to see our uniqueness and our sameness all at once? I think I see it lurking there in our species, silently waiting to be heard, sort of like our continuing heartbeat. What could happen if more in the world would pause, take a breath, and listen to that heartbeat, that affirmation of this precious human life? It is here now and then it’s gone before we know it...

And I believe we have a choice.

As I navigate my way through the revising of my second book, I feel heartened that I’m doing my work in the world - to tell stories, to reveal myself and foster connection with readers whoever and wherever they are. We have to start with ourselves, don’t we? Have you thought about how you build a life that keeps you connected to your fellow beings?

Sending much love and appreciation for your continuing forbearance and interest in my words over the years. May this beautiful fall be a time of peaceful reflection, of coming together with others and finding gratitude for this amazing opportunity to be alive.

Mag

P.S. Photo by Dariusz Sankowski via Unsplash