5 Habits That Helped Me Become A Better Writer and Better Person

Our habits define us. That’s why good habits need to be cultivated. In my 70+ years of life, I’ve learned many habits – some good, some bad.

Our first instinct in life is to shy away from pain. We all have our struggles and challenges to overcome. Once we’re done with a traumatic experience, we want to pack our feelings away and forget it ever happened. But, our efforts to avoid discomfort and suffering often lead to bad coping mechanisms. 

The way we cope and how we handle the unexpected says as much about us as our words.

Here are 5 habits I’ve cultivated throughout the years:

1. Keep a journal.

From a very young age, I kept a journal. Writing daily in my journal is an act of self-love. It helps me improve my writing skills as I process my feelings. It’s a cathartic release and a safe place to get it all out. There is no one right way to keep a journal. It's the act of creation that's important. 

2. Embrace pain and suffering as well as happiness and joy.

Our writing is shaped by our most difficult experiences. Without that cancer diagnosis or divorce, would our work even be what it is today? But we often shy away from the hard things. We want to close that chapter of our lives and move on. But that doesn’t let us explore the true depth of our feelings. And, nothing is better fodder for the imagination than our own sorrows. So, I’ve learned to lean into the discomfort and sit with my suffering a while. Instead of pushing the pain away, I embrace it. It’s made my writing richer and more nuanced.

3. Indulge your curiosity.

As a child, I was always eager to learn. My love of travel grew out of a desire to try new things and discover new places. As writers, we must constantly challenge the status quo. It’s up to us to ask “why” and “how.” It’s in our spirits to examine and reexamine things. We use our writing to discover truths about ourselves and about the world. Sometimes, we don’t know how we feel about something until we’ve fully explored it through our writing. So, ask your questions. Seek out new experiences. Indulge your curiosity. If we want to write well, we need to live fully and experience it all.

4. Remember that you’re human.

The most poignant writing touches on the things that bind us. As humans, we’re all striving for connection and significance. We’re looking for meaning in life, and we look to one another for that meaning. Like when I travel...

I record my thoughts and experiences in my journal and with my camera. What I found was that I wasn't separate from other people. In traveling, I felt a natural communion with people wherever I went. And when I embraced that sameness, my writing is the better for it.

5. Don’t seek perfection.

During one of his visits to the U.S., the Dalai Lama met with several psychologists. They discussed how here in the U.S. we hold ourselves to an impossible standard. The Dalia Lama shared that the very idea of self-doubt was confusing to him. As a Buddhist, he sees self-doubt as a product of society, not something intrinsic. We all spend way too much time chasing perfection. In Western culture, self-criticism is as natural as breathing. So when you write, do so for the joy, the healing, the play. Don’t seek perfection because there is no such thing.

 Throughout my life, these five habits have helped me be a better person and a better writer. They have helped me lean into my discomfort, accept my imperfection, and explore my feelings. 

When we welcome the messiness of life, we grow as writers and individuals. When we live authentically, we naturally write from a place of raw honest truth.

What habits do you use to be a better writer? Do they help you as a person, too? Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

P.S. Photo by Mathilde Langevin on Unsplash